Ladies, We've Had It Wrong For Years...

I thought that I understood men. Then, a conversation occurred last night that made me realize how deeply wrong I was. And not just me, but all women, everywhere.
Lately, I have had some trouble with dry feet, so I've been using a lotion made out of honey to keep them as soft as Cleopatra's. It smells sweet and kind of earthy, but not to D'Artagnan's nose.

"What's that smell?"
"What smell?"
"That one that smells like pipe tobacco."

I sniff the air.

"I don't smell anything like that."

He leans over and takes a whiff.

"It's you!" he exclaims.
"I don't smell like pipe tobacco!"
"Yes you do!"
"No I don't! I dropped that habit ages ago."
"Yes you do. It smells so good."

pause.

"What? It smells good?"
"Yeah. Now if you only had on some Hoope's number nine."

My mind raced. Was it a floral? a musk? woody? a spice? Some secret parfum of chantilly lace?

"What's that?" I asked. "Is that like Chanel number five?"
"NO! Its gun cleaning solvent. If you'd put that on with what you are wearing you'd have men following you for miles."

I'm on the phone right now with Chanel. Their new Eau de toilette should be coming out soon.