Introduction of the Family

We moved temporarily to a gated retirement community recently with some very, very kind, older people. I got a call asking us to introduce ourselves in the very serious HOA newsletter. I thought I'd share what I wrote here.  Do you think they'll be happy to have us in the neighborhood after reading it?

"We would love to tell you a little about our family and wish you all Happy Halloween!

If you want to come visit, we live in the house in the cul-de-sac that currently has a lot of large spiders on the front porch.  We’d love to see you!

We recently moved here because a few angry villagers chased us out of town.  We don’t blame them, they had their reasons.  However, it gives us the chance to be around a whole new batch of victims…ah, people, and we are grateful for that.

We don’t come out much during the day, but when we do, D'Artagnan works as an anesthesiologist.  He is a retired Colonel from the Army after 38 years in service.

My name is Melonie. I have a few hobbies, but I probably shouldn't divulge them until we know each other a little better. D'Artagnan and I met on a stormy night while he was doing rounds in Transylvania, my native home. We fell madly in love, especially when I saw his amazing ability to climb walls. We have been married over sixteen years and have four lovely, pale children.  I spend my time training them to not be monsters!  Athos is eleven and enjoys collecting ants, playing piano and bagpipes, and reading anything related to Star Wars. We’re sorry if the flashing of the light saber duels in the backyard are keeping you up at night. Porthos is nine and is our resident speller.  He loves to spell words!  He also plays the piano, reads voraciously and loves History.  Since he really is a few hundred years old, it is no wonder he is a History buff.  He’s seen it for himself.  Oh, I probably shouldn’t have told you that…ahem, to continue… Sugar Princess is six. Her hobbies include Irish Dancing and singing.  Maybe you’ve seen her out on the deck serenading the moon.  Aramis just turned four.  We celebrated by giving him his first long, black cloak.  He was thrilled.  His antics keep us very busy and always laughing.  If you want to know more about us, just give us a call or stop by…only after midnight, however.  We are at our very best that time of the night. Thanks to all of those who have welcomed us to the neighborhood.  We do want to remind everyone that we are sponsoring a blood drive on October 31^st, so please stop by, and donate.  Proceeds will go directly to our family."