To Buckle or Not Buckle? That is the Question.

Behind this friendly demenear is a tormented soul. Yes, it is understandable that I am tormented because I have to look at those God-awful fruit curtains in my rental home every day....but that is not the reason. Nor having a nine- year old consistently making goofy faces behind and to the side of me is the reason. Well? What is it? I don't know. But the proof is in the pudding, so they say, or the grocery store, rather. (I am loving commas, dashes, and elipseeees today). I never go to Smith's Grocery Store. It is inconvenient and rather depressing. Yesterday, however, I had another errand nearby and so decided to do my grocery shopping there. I only had the 2-year old monster with me. We walked in very happy as it was only 9:20 and I had already dropped off 3 kids at school and finished my other errand. It was going to be a miracle day! Christian wanted one of those carts where two kids can fit in, sitting their little buns on tiny circles and are strapped in over the shoulders. Usually, he slides down and gets choked, but he is getting bigger, so I thought we'd try again. He does NOT like to ride in the ones that look like this: We tried 3 different carts and ALL of them had broken seatbelts. Finally, I saw a miniature car cart and it too had a broken seat belt! I plopped him in anyway and we chose three large pumpkins. Ironically, these nifty carts made for children also have large plaques on them saying "BUCKLE YOUR CHILD!" and little, horrific drawings of toddlers smashing their heads on the floor or tottering on the precipice of grocery cart tightwires. How do they expect you to buckle your child in when none of the carts work? I decided to tell a manager. After waiting about 5 minutes for the stupid girl behind the service counter to look up and acknowledge that a human being was standing in front of ther staring her down, she told me to ask one of the checkers to page a manager. I go over to the ONE checker and wait for her to finish checking out the two only and other customers in the store. She makes a phone call. I wait and wait - trying to entertain the two-year old. I walk about 15 feet away. She puts the receiver to her chest and calls out to me, "He wants to know what you want!" I am stunned. In the most witchy voice I can muster I say, "What I want? What I WANT is to talk to him!" (oh, boy, I wish you could hear the inflection in that sentence!) The surrounding people in the store are now silent and staring. She gets back on. "She wants to talk to you." Aghast at all the rudeness, I decide I am about to lose it. It is 9:45 and I haven't got past the front doors. "Forget it!" I yell.
"Wait!" she calls, "He'll be here in a minute!"
"NO! I am leaving! I am leaving!" In a dramatic flinging of my arms and lifting my toddler out of the front of that broken down cart, I yell "GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (unfortunately, my voice caught on that last syllable, because I was about to cry) I leave the pumpkins, et al., in front of the service desk.
I hear the cashier mumble to someone, "I wish he would stop doing that. Can't he just come when someone asks to talk to a manager." Triumph.
So, what is the point of this rambling?
I am insane.
I do not know why I am this way.
However, two good things came out of this experience. I did have a revelation about the which kind of people shop at which UTAH stores - Maceys, Albertsons, Smiths, and Harmons. This, I will reveal on my next post.
The second is that I am about to market a new type of child security belt for grocery carts. It looks like this:
I call it the "straight-enup jacket." I think it will be a big hit for those Moms shopping at Smith's.