Rating Stake Conference and The Constitution of Fairness

D'Artagnan listening to Conference and taking notes, skillfully rendered by Athos.

I am not keeping up on my current daily life, but I am still adding to the post below, so keep checking on that while I add more new and exciting news!

Yesterday, it was Stake Conference. We attended at our own chapel and it was broadcast from Provo. Therefore, we walked in and it was all dark with a big, white screen descended from the front wall. My kids were astounded. "What are we doing?" asked the Sugar Princess. "We are going to watch a movie for church today," I said. She accepted that and we sat down. She seemed curious about this whole new experience. The program began. A song was sung, a prayer recited, and the first speaker finished. Then Elder Packer stood up and began. My Sugar Princess crawled into my lap and whispered, "Is this rated PG or PG-13?"
I sighed. If only we could watch Return of the Jedi for Sacrament Meeting- a fantastic discourse on good versus evil.

NOW, on to a very important paper I found stuck in the couch cushions-- The Constitution of Fairness. Every house should have one.

I am so grateful I did not see this document because I couldn't in good conscience have signed it. Let me explain and transcribe for those who cannot see the pics. (spelling not altered!)

1. I hereby Declare that we will have to everyday, pass on the opportunity of being King or Queen.
I NEVER PASS ON THE OPPORTUNITY OF BEING QUEEN. I AM THE QUEEN EVERY DAY! NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

2. We will not sware.
UMMM, NOW WHY IN THE HELL WOULD MY KIDS SAY THAT?

3. We will try not to offend each other.
WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING A FAMILY THEN?

4. We will not hurt each other.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT WHEN I'M TAKING OFF MY BELT.

5. We do not disobey the rules.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE ANY RULES.

6. We will not or cannot mock.
BUT WHAT WILL D'ARTAGNAN AND I DO FOR SPORT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THE CAR?


7. We will help the hurt, sick, and the weak.
I AM THE HURT, SICK, AND WEAK. DO YOU SEE ANYBODY HELPING ME?

8. We will not pull hair.
THIS, I CAN SAFELY SAY, I DO NOT DO...ONLY IN THE HEAT OF PASSION.

9. No threatening of any kind.
MY ENTIRE PARENTING STYLE IS BASED ON THREATS, SO NO TO THIS ONE TOO. "NOW, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM OR ELSE!!!!!"


The Constitution of Fairness is not Fair! It doesn't apply to everybody! That's not FAIR!!!!!!!!