What you can get at the D.I. for FREE!!!!!!!

Where I live we have a store that is the like the Salvation Army on steroids. Its called the D.I.. If there ever was a "professional personal shopper" for this store, it would be me. Today I went on a quest. My children will be starring as "extras" in a Hansel and Gretel movie this week and the director asked if I would find boots for my children that were in the "old world style." After my sons tried on ten different heeled women's boots up to their knees and were running around the store yelling "Ahoy, walk the plank!" like pirates, we found them each a pair. Athos looked great in his brown women's boots and camouflage shorts and shirt. Very masculine.

We got out of there with quite a haul. Three pairs of winter boots, one spray-painted gold Syrian pill box, two stuffed monkeys, blue fluffy girl slippers, a baby stuffed tiger, denim Sunday shoes, a tin Christmas penguin box, two Star Trek books, and only ONE bruise.

While I was sliding my credit card through the machine, there was a crash by the sliding front doors. When I looked over from the check out line, my twelve-year old was laying on top of my four-year old who was screaming and holding his head. Sugar Princess ran over to Aramis and cradled his head and started yelling, "You're okay! You're okay!" Athos was wailing to all the eager in-line listeners, "He tripped me! He tripped me!" instead of apologizing. The woman behind me in line started clicking her tongue and wiping her brow -- trying to goad me into feeling shame. That woman just didn't know who she was dealing with. I slid my credit card back in the wallet, picked up my bag of pirate boots and the four-year old off the floor, and said, "They come with the stuffed monkeys in the toy section, if you hurry you can get some too."