a romantic evening at home

Corned beef and cabbage anyone? I got a great deal on a corned beef and finally cooked it today. At 5:00 I realized I hadn't got potatoes. You cannot have this meal without potatoes, onions, and carrots also. I ran to the store thinking we would have a wonderful evening...quiet, Irish, peaceful, everyone would be in bed early.

I get home and discover the baby to be covered in diarreah and his room smells like throw-up, but I can't locate the source. Bathe him and put him in clean pajamas with yellow undershirt.
Make potatoes.
Dinner at 6:45.
Clean up dinner at 7:30. Beg husband to do dishes tonight. He relents.
Started piano practicing, getting ready for bed, making items for scout camp tomorrow until 8:30.
I have extreme pie cravings and call Justine to find out where you can get pie in Utah county. You can't, unless you want to pay 30.00 for one at Maglebys. Wail. Call closed bakeries and leave obscene phone messages on their answering machings.."I want pie! I want pie!"
Try to edit an essay I received today - got in 7 whole minutes. Crying four-year old wants to go to get ice cream now because I've made her hungry for something sweet. She follows me around also wailing. I console, "No Purple Turtle tonight, dear. We're getting to bed early." (P.T. is the local gourmet ice cream shop).
Come back upstairs to discover baby has mapped out the United States on his undershirt and over the kitchen table with 5 different markers. Not the washable kind.
Husband starts to get angry because he wants to go to bed early for his 4:30 am start time and no one is listening to him.
Knock on door - neighbor boys who are weeding our yard - we don't answer because there is too much yelling in the house and we figure the noise is just someone banging their head against a wall.
Throw in third load of laundry for the day.
Husband is yelling for everyone to come to prayers. I can't because I am changing a diarreah diaper and getting my daughter's nightgown on with my third arm.
We begin prayers, baby is having a holy fit and knocks my husband's glasses off, he threatens to put baby in bed, baby is screaming "no, no!" I continue with prayer as though nothing is happening, baby and husband leave, puts baby in jail (crib).
Time to brush everyone's teeth. Two get done before husband wants to suddenly start scripture study at 9:30.
Scripture study begins....
Knock on door.
Boys want money for their weeding. Write a check. Husband protests its too much. He could do in a half an hour what they did in five hours. I give the boys the check anyway. They are smiling because I think they see the three-foot high load of laundry in the hall from just getting back from the cabin for a week. They think we're crazy.
Scripture study resumes.
We are just finishing the last verse when husband, who is holding bottle drinking baby, says, "GET A BOWL! I think he's going to throw up!"
Mad dash for the kitchen...Can't find a bowl big enough, finally grab one and run, only to arrive 2 seconds too late...throw up all over husband, baby, persian carpet, and shag. Other three children stare.
Husband rushes throwing up baby down hall to bathroom while I begin the disaster clean-up of what feels like an area as big as a farm.
9-year old starts saying he's sick. He needs air. He runs to the back door and leaves. Husband yells at him to "stay in the house!" I tell him to "get out!"
I continue to clean carpet.
Other two kids sneak out the back door, but not before sweet 7-year old son says, "I'm so glad I have you as a Mom. I love you, Mom. Thanks for always cleaning up the throw-up." I'd say its 9:45 by now.
Semi-clean baby is brought back to me. I hand over new pajamas (clean from 2nd laundry load) and gather all the throw-up clothing and head to the bathtub to begin the rinse out. I pick up the yellow t-shirt that is now covered in throw up and marker designs and start to laugh very hard as I rinse it out.
Husband pulls at hair and says he need to go to bed. Where are the kids?
Outside.
I put in my next load of laundry.
Husband returns from gathering outside children and discovers baby's bed has dried throw-up in it from his nap.
I put in more laundry and change the bedding. Brush baby's teeth and put him in bed. Husband now tells me he didn't really bathe the baby very well. Well, he actually just washed down his face, legs, and arms before he put the pajamas on. The baby's hair has throw-up in it. Could I bathe him?
4-year old waits for a story to be read to her.
9-year old says he is sick and throws a pillow and blanket on the floor. I go find medicine and a bowl. He takes it and lays down.
I read to other three kids. Brush forgotten teeth. Two more to bed. Baby in bath for five minutes. He's clean again and I put him back in bed.
(LONG TWENTY MINUTE WRITING PAUSE HERE. Reasons will be explained in a moment.)
Find sleeping husband sprawled out in bed in his underwear. I close the bedroom door. He's been up since 4:30 this morning.
I hear older son throwing up in the bowl. I run. He's on his third round and the bowl is about to overflow. We carefully, but quickly, carry it and him to the bathroom. He accidentally dumps bowl onto floor and toilet. He throws up again two feet away from toilet because he doesn't want to step in the stuff he spilled. Lovely. I begin the clean up. I clean out throw-up bowl in bathroom sink. I disinfect the sink and the floor. I leave for a moment to come back and find son spitting into the sink I just disinfected. I send him to bed and start over.
Ah, peace. I begin to write blog and get to the above writing pause.
I hear throwing up upstairs. Baby has thrown up maybe a gallon in his bed. I get him naked again. Gather up towels, sheets, pillowcase, blankets, and soggy stuffed kitten. Bathe him again. Put rolled up bedding in bathtub.
Put baby in new pajamas. Put new bedding in crib. Lay him down. He wants his kitten. I wipe it down and give it to him. What does it matter anymore anyhow?
I rinse out all sheets and bedding in bathtub. I cannot believe this all came from him. I put in another load of laundry. Stand for many minutes wondering if I should do cold water for the stain or hot water to disinfect. Decide on warm cycle. It's now 12:05am. I'm going to bed early.
And I didn't even write about my DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot bear to make corned beef for a very long time.