#1 - Spread out all the leftover food and miscellaneous items on your kitchen counter so you can't cook and are forced to eat Pizza Hut and Taco Bell and Burger King for days afterwards. After all, you didn't eat enough of that on your vacation. P.S. Be sure not to spill on the Harry Potter book and your son's broken tile from his art class.
#2 - Make sure you do not roll up your sleeping bags for a few days. Leave them on the living room floor so your children can build huts with them. This will entertain them while you are calling Pizza Hut.
#3 - Be sure to use multiple storage containers to cover the entryway into your living room. I would recommend using luggage, laundry baskets, wicker baskets, plastic bins, cardboard boxes, and grocery bags. The dirty clothes bin with handles is also highly useful when it comes to returning from vacation. It helps the smell of dust and B.O. to linger above the living room, reminding you of happy camping vacation moments. We want that feeling of freedom to linger.
Tip #4 - If you want the smell to be even stronger, have everyone throw their dirty clothes into a pile in front of the hallway door. There's no reason to separate them into whites, darks, and colors! Let the colors mix like the odors do.
If there is not enough space in the hall because of your luggage being in the way, open the laundry room door. Stare lovingly at the piles of wash to be done. It will make you plan your next vacation very quickly.
Tip #5 - Place your broken shower hose by the front door. This will stump intruders. They won't know if they should trip over it or if you are inviting them in for a hot shower and a meal. If this deterrent doesn't work, don't worry, the laundry is in the way.
Tip #6 - After returning, throw your backpack on the bathroom floor. Make sure it is near the toilet so you can peruse its contents while sitting. Leave it there for a few days. When you are finished with your business, you can wash your hands and use the towel on the floor to dry them. Be sure to put the towel back down when you leave, however. Then you will always know where it is.
Tip #7 - Leave luggage open and upturned so the clothes spill out and you have easy access to the leftover wardrobe. Keep a plastic red horn nearby in case you have to call in the cavalry.
Tip #8 - While unpacking, place every bottle of miscellaneous potions or pills- empty or full - on your bathroom countertop. You then are able to scan the items quickly and pick out what you need when you pack again for your next trip.
Tip #9 - Air out your clothes over the stairway railing. This makes a convenient spot for wet swimming suits as well.
Tip #10 - The piece de resistance of all household vacation returning tips!! Stop by Macey's on your way home to pick up milk for your empty refridgerator. They will be having a Food Emergency Preparedness Sale. Do not resist adding more items to your living room decor or to your food storage. Buy all you can fit in your vehicle. Do not forget Celery and Texturized Vegetable Protein Chicken.
After a few hours, your boys will then make their own additions to the food storage - making your living room look even more cozy and charming.
I am only willing to share these tips because I love you all. To accumulate this knowledge, it has taken me years of traveling and returning home again. I pass my wisdom to you all.
Now, just so you can see how much fun we had. Here are some more photos.
Our fourteenth anniversary was spent with the kids riding the cogwheel train up Pike's Peak.
Cara is exhausted from the climb.
Connor and Caleb entertaining themselves at the RV park by playing Harry Potter wizard wand wars. EXPELLIARMUS!!
My princess resting on her RV bed.
One of the views in the Garden of the Gods...
Cara missing the views, but listening intently to Call of the Wild on tape. She is picking up wild tips of her own to use on me later.
I also want to add how happy and rested we look afterward. Here are pics of me and my little men.
HAPPY TRAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 comments:
Ahhhh yessss, feels like home! Thanks for the traveling tips.
I love the picture of the Bionicles on the food storage!
Oh mel: these are priceless. And that is why we don't vacation. ever. We just move.
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